the only suggestion for change I would have is that sometimes there is a lack of consistency in the use of pronouns. For example in a sentence it goes:
Deciding that grabbing it too quickly would probably be too much for your current attire to handle, she reaches over and carefully pulls the towel off the gu
The game is in third person but sometimes it then talks as if YOU are the character.
But that can't detract from the silliness of the game, I grinned at the "say something omnious" line.
Ah I'll admit I didn't do as much proof-reading as I should've, I tend to accidentally switch up tenses and pronouns all the time in my writing. Hopefully I'll be able to fix that in my next project. Thanks for the feedback and glad you enjoyed!!
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That is a very cute OC. You should use her more!
the fog is coming.
I very much plan to! She's basically my mascot at this point lol!!
the fog is coming.
The Fog is Coming
The Fog is Coming
Unbelievably cute !
the only suggestion for change I would have is that sometimes there is a lack of consistency in the use of pronouns. For example in a sentence it goes:
The game is in third person but sometimes it then talks as if YOU are the character.
But that can't detract from the silliness of the game, I grinned at the "say something omnious" line.
Ah I'll admit I didn't do as much proof-reading as I should've, I tend to accidentally switch up tenses and pronouns all the time in my writing. Hopefully I'll be able to fix that in my next project. Thanks for the feedback and glad you enjoyed!!
Super cute! Quick and goofy little Twine Story. Great work for a first time.
Glad you enjoyed it!! I also think I did pretty decent for a first project like this
i like silly little stories about animals good game